Do you want to be as great as ME, Rehan, the extremely cool and sexy Royal Jester?
Do you want the skill to be able to pick up any person you want (in a sexy way)?
WELL, YOU'RE IN LUCK! 
All you have to do is follow my SIMPLE TIPS, and you can be almost as cool as I am, and attract the partner of your dreams!
MONEY BACK GUARANTEE
STEP 1: Be HOT
It really is that easy! Studies* have shown that people are more likely to date you if you're attractive, so make yourself hot! Learn how to use makeup! Wear clothes that make you pop! You don't need to worry about the current trends - choose clothes that work well for you specifically! Which brings me to my next point...
STEP 2: Be CONFIDENT
Even if you're not naturally blessed with good looks like yours truly, you can still be attractive with a bit of CONFIDENCE! If you act like you know what you're talking about, then other people will also believe that you know what you're talking about, even if you don't! And people love someone who can take control of a situation. ;)
STEP 3: Be FUNNY
This one's a little tricky, but with enough practice, anyone can figure out how to make people laugh! Just be careful - you want them to laugh with you, not at you!!
Here are some great example lines:
If I said I like your body, would you hold it against me?
Can I walk with you? Because my parents always told me to follow my dreams.
If you were a fruit, you’d be a fine-apple.
Your lips look lonely. Would they like to meet mine?
Shouldn't you be in the dining hall? Because you're looking like a snack.
Do you believe in love at first sight or should I time-travel back and try again?
And with these three tips...
YOU'VE GOT IT!!!!
BONUS: if you REALLY wanna be the coolest it's actually REALLY simple: all you gotta do is eat dirt! Really! Just grab a big ol' handful from the ground and swallow it up! Indisputable coolness. It's really true, trust me. Make sure people are watching!!
BONUS BONUS: If you ate dirt after the bonus tip, I actually have a really cool fun fact for you - but only for you, wow! If you head to the Morning Mist dorm and look up, someone's actually written 'gullible' on the ceiling! Such a weird thing?? Check it out!
also check out this cool rock
*I mean, there are probably studies on this, idk it's common knowledge
